


Thank You

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Fingerfucking, Fluff, M/M, Oral Sex, Trans Character, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 03:41:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We've been through hell and back, arguments over the stupidest shit... and a seven month breakup from hell. We've been through those moments that almost tore the entire band apart and the moments that made us realize what we saw in one another and why we always knew it had to work out in the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thank You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [assholekyo](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=assholekyo).



> wants Toshiya as trans, still having a vagina. Requested that he be a complete whore, that he wants it bad. Somewhat sequel to Fill the Void.  
> Beta Readers: sakura_ame  
> Song[s]: " Still (Acoustic, Vancouver Sessions)" by Alanis Morissette

It's been years since he and I have come to the conclusion that no matter what - through thick and through thin - we are the ones for each other. We've been through hell and back, arguments over the stupidest shit... and a seven month breakup from hell. We've been through those moments that almost tore the entire band apart and the moments that made us realize what we saw in one another and why we always knew it had to work out in the end.

In all that time, we've remained much the same. Sure, time changes things. I've gotten more tattoos, age has started to show in my physique... though leave it to Toshiya to say it hasn't whenever I bring it up. And he's gotten his teeth straightened and more than a few surgeries, his features growing more and more masculine over the years. But through all of the physical, it's the mental changes that mean the most. We've grown up... realized some of our fits of anger have been misdirected, come to work out things in many ways rather than stewing about them for months and then losing our shit when it comes down to it. But... all in all... we're still the same couple that started out together years and years ago. He's my sweet Toshiya and I'm his slightly-disgruntled idiot of a boyfriend.

I suppose the one big thing that has changed is that we're now living in the very same house. His place flooded in June of last year and I saw it as the sign we'd been looking for. Call it grasping at straws... call it stupid. But it's done a world of good for us. Living together has forced us to work out the last few kinks in our otherwise lovely relationship. All those random frustrations came to a boil and then we took care of them, much the way any good couple should.

Hands land lightly on my shoulders and I crane my neck back, looking up into that knowing face. A tiny smile spreads across his lips as he stares down at me and then he lets out a quiet laugh. "You're stuck in your own head again." Truer words....

I wave it off with a flick of my wrist and lean back against him, closing my eyes. "Then make me forget it."

"I'm beginning to think it's an excuse." Really, he's right. It always is. I just want to feel his hands on me... to watch him as he goes after me with the enthusiasm of a teenager, even to this very day, no matter how far from that age we are.

"Maybe," I admit quietly, the start of a smirk attempting to pull at my mouth. I tamp it down and push my chair out from my desk, making him move so he doesn’t get run over by it. "Not that you object if it is."

The way he looks at me makes it clear that I'm right and he just huffs out a laugh. "Okay..." he leans over me, his hands on the desk behind me as he pushes his nose almost against my own. "Tell me then... what's your pleasure today?"

"Mmm... whatever yours is. Today is yours." I love seeing that look on his face... the one that these words place there. It's like permission to do anything he wants, no matter how crazy the desire may be... no matter how slutty it'd normally sound. And I adore allowing him that freedom.

Wetting his lips, he straightens up for a moment, deliberating, and then he's holding out his hand for me. "Not in here. You know that thing you always want? I want to give it to you."

My heart leaps in my throat at the very thought and I'm out of the chair faster than I think I've ever been, stumbling along behind him - Mr. Grace that I am - as he draws me toward the bedroom. I adore every single inch of my lover, though he sometimes doesn’t feel the same way about himself. I think sometimes he doesn’t understand how I can like certain aspects, but he's accepted them more and more over the years. But this... I've only done it twice in the entire time we've been together. I respect his boundaries and his comfort zones and he respects mine. That's all a part of being a decent human being.

He closes the door behind us and then flicks off the light. I can hear the rustle of clothing and then the soft plop of it as it hits the floor. A few moments later, the bedsprings creak as he settles down on it, and then, "Kyo?"

Moving to the bed, I pause at the foot of it to remove my own clothes. No barriers between me and him this time. I usually like it semi-clothed... the remainder of clothing making it feel rushed and near-desperate, but not tonight. No... with this, I don't want anything except us and all the time he'll give me.

I slip onto the bed between his legs, moving smoothly over him, my hand lightly caressing his hip as I lean up and press a firm kiss to his lips. "You're sure about this?"

He breathes out a tiny laugh against my lips and then murmurs, "I am. Whatever you want of it."

Those words honestly catch me, make me nearly delirious with the desire to unleash all of my not-so-secret desires on him. Just tonight... this one time. Sliding my hand down between his parted thighs, I slid my fingers along his slick folds, causing his breath to catch, a shudder running through his body. These are the reactions that make me so pleased with doing this... that make me want to do it more often. 

Toshiya arches beneath me, closing his eyes and letting out a quiet little sound of pleasure. I adore his every single noise to the point that I can't focus on anything except him while he's making them. Leaning down, my lips catch one nipple, tongue flicking lightly over the raised flesh before I move on, further and further down his body. He keeps on letting out little sighs and the tiniest of moans as I finally push two fingers into his slick passage. He's obviously been wanting this... the way he spreads his legs... the way he's ready for me. Perhaps... it isn't just for me, then.

My breath ghosts over his abdomen, tongue flicking out over the faint hint of a treasure trail he has going on, a smirk on my lips. "This turns me on so much," I offer to him, trying to let him know how thankful I am for him... for his very existence, for everything we're doing. 

His hand comes down to clamp over my wrist and he shifts slightly before letting go and muttering out, "There," the faintest hint of a blush falling over his cheeks.

I take to his wishes, curling my fingers slightly and then thrusting them. His hips snap up and a sharp cry leaves his lips before he cries out, "Yes!" I can't help it, the smirk spreading over my lips as I assault the spot he's put me in. I do it until he's begging, gasping beneath me for me to relent. And, finally, I do, pulling my fingers free of his body and then leaning down between his legs, parting them a bit more. I press my mouth down over him, sucking at the protruding nub of flesh, making him squirm and cry out, his hands instantly in my hair, yanking and then pushing, unable to make up his mind what he wants of this... and what he doesn't.

I give him a few more good sucks before allowing myself to run my tongue over the folds of his nether regions, blissful in the fact that he's letting me get away with this for once. I love the taste of him... I have since day one. He's always and forever my man and his taste is a part of him, a part I cherish. I understand his misgivings and I accept them just like every other part of him. But it doesn’t mean I miss giving back to a lover like this... that I don't yearn for things sometimes that I understand I can't normally have. 

But tonight... he's taken off the holds, allowed me free reign. My tongue slides inside him, tasting and lapping for a moment before I pull back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand so he doesn't have to stare at the evidence of what I've just done. I press another kiss just over his pubic bone, the smile evident on my lips as I slide forward. For the first time in years, I don't have to get a condom... not tonight.

I shift over him, my eyes meeting his for a moment, just waiting on any objection... any change of plans before I proceed. He gives me a little nod and I allow myself to move. Grasping my cock, I steady it as I push my hips forward, sliding into his slick passage with a pleased groan. The instant I'm inside, I know I've re-found heaven. He's so hot and wet... ready and waiting for me and it feels so very different from our usual. Sliding my arm under him, I lean closer, pressing myself down against his body and starting to move. 

Beneath me, he begins to let out a whole new array of sounds, ones it's been years since I've heard. The way he reacts to my cock here is so very different, the sensations no doubt as different for him as they are for me. His thighs clamp around me, his hips pushing up toward me as I thrust. Something about the moment catches and I push my nose against his neck, smelling him as I labor over him. He clings to me as we work together, the chorus of our bodies nothing short of amazing.

I slide one hand down between us, my thumb touching just above the sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing in the tight circles he likes so much. He trembles, his hips pushing up harder, his breath coming in quicker. I follow all of my cues, letting him lead me to his end. When it happens, it's abrupt, as it always is. His cry is sharp and crisp on the air, everything tensing... and then the contractions start, the spasming of his inner walls around me. This... this is the feeling I can never ever forget. It's beautiful and I yearn for it so very much. I push in a few more times and then still as I lose it just behind him, spurting my offering deep within his body.

He lets out a moan, clearly feeling my orgasm as well as I feel his. We remain entwined for a few minutes, just coming down from our mutual ends, his body more than willing to support my own as we rest. And finally, when I move again, I push up just enough to look him in the eyes, and the only words I can find are, "Thank you." It tells him everything: that it's meant the world to me, that I've enjoyed it more than I can show him, and that there's always something deeper in every word I've ever spoken to him. With the way he smiles back up at me... he knows. And that's all that's ever mattered.

**The End**


End file.
